I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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