She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
