So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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