I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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