Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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