I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
