what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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