Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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