But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
