is your mom at the bar?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
