Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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