We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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