youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
