Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
