I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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