he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
