you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
