I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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