I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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