The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
