I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
