i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
