I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If I die, sorry about rent.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
