Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
