just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
