Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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