I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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