I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
