I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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