I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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