Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
