I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
