I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
