I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
