If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
