I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
