we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
