Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
