Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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