A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
