I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize