I'm sorry my penis didn't work
no, he came in my armpit
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
As shirtless as possible
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
