True but thats because hes a fetus.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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