do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
