Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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