Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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