Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
