If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
