Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
