I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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